A Change in Perspective
by Theoria Synolon
Summary: After dying with Thor in Ragnarok, Loki is reborn with a general knowledge of the events that are going to follow, and a renewed conviction to please Asgard. And to become a worthy Odinson, at long last.
1. Chapter 1

It depends on how everything begins. Usually, something that begins badly, ends the same way. I'm the living proof of this claim. My life began at a frozen, god forsaked kingdom. From the very beginning I was a disgrace. A pitiful semblance of a frost giant, I was. Laufey, the man to whom I was born a son, saw a small, insignificant being, lying on the bloodied mattress of stone and ice, something that could very well cause his downfall. Week giants are giants not worth living.

So he cast me out. He left me in a cave in Jotunheim, alone and unprotected, to die in the snow, either by the cold, or the teeth of some wild beast. I remember. My earliest memories are of that cave. I remember spending days in there, without any contact or nourishment. Luckily for me, no wild beasts entered the cave in my short stay there. Short because, about a week or so after I was abandoned, a man entered the cave, with the smell of blood and the air of victory following him around.

I didn't cry when I saw him. I didn't cry when he lifted me up with both hands and stared at me. After a while, I realized he wasn't of my kin, so I let me skin change color and texture to become more familiar to him. To please him. To diminish the possibility of him crushing me under his boot. When he moved to leave, holding me protectively aigainst his chest, that's when I knew I wouldn't be coming back. It felt like waking up from a bad dream, with the help of the one eyed stranger. His eye socket was still bleeding, red in contrast to the eternal white of Jotunheim.

And for the first time since my birth, I slept soundly.


	2. Chapter 2

By the time I woke up, we were near the borders of Asgard. We entered the city before nightfall, having traveled for a mere few hours on fast steeds. As we entered the Bifrost, a dark man with a piercing gaze greeted us. The All Father dismounted his horse carefully and walked towards the Gatekeeper, still holding me tightly in his embrace as I stirred. Normally, having never in my current life heard the Asgardian language, I wouldn't be able to understand what was said between the two of them. However my spirit, my soul, had somehow made a leap through time and space, therefore knowledge that wasn't exactly mine followed my conscious mind. Memories of events that haven't yet happened –and hopefully never would- haunted my thoughts for now, the thoughts of a mere toddler, and yet not quite.

"Greetings my king."

"Greetings to you, Heimdall Gatekeeper. What news from the field?"

"The Jotuns are retreating my lord. They have abandoned the vast expanse of the kingdom of Jotunheim, and they are moving South, as far away from the Bifrost's entrance as they can reach. I see the king of the Frost Giants alive, but unwell, leading his remaining warriors away from the field of battle."

Then the dark man, Heimdall, glanced at me, seemingly unsure of how to continue. I yawned loudly, and smiled at the guardian of Asgard, something I hadn't done in my past life. In my last "first" meeting with Heimdall I kept glancing at him warily, his bright red eyes and intimidating features making me unconvinced of my safety when close to him. Now I knew the man, he served Asgard, he would give his life for the city and its occupants. And, if nothing else, he neither caused nor aided my downfall, only going as far as to not let me do anyone harm. I always respected him for his devotion, towards Asgard and its king, since it wasn't the complete, blind and uninformed devotion one saw in the other Asgardian warriors. His devotion was inspired by the depths of his creation, by his protectiveness over something seemingly eternal. In many ways Asgard was Heimdall's child.

The guardian kept looking at me, obviously stunned by both my calmness and my actions. Then, with some hesitation, he released his left hand from the grip on his sword and lifted the palm slowly towards my face. Now, I said I didn't hold any grudges against Heimdall, but still, I wasn't ready for contact just yet. So I lifted both my hands, raised them above my head and towards the offending hand. I caught the small and middle fingers of the digit, squeezed, and commented on the disrespect with something that came out suspiciously as a cooing sound. The irony was too much for me to bear, to be an ancient being that had just made baby sounds, so I cracked a toothy smile and giggled. Heimdall was yet again surprised, only this time he sported a smile of his own as he let me hold his hand. Almost immediately though he turned serious, turning his face from me to the All Father.

"Laufey was searching for him."

Odin seemed surprised at that, for the hand that was holding me unclenched for a second, only to return to its previous place, tighter than before. However, his surprise was nothing compared to mine. Laufey was searching for me; had that happened the first time around? Could it be possible that I wasn't abandoned, as the All Father claimed? Was I stolen from Jotunheim? I felt my rage bubbling up in my throat, I wanted to scream, to pound Odin with all the accusations I had, from this life and the last one. Still thousands of years of suppressing my emotions aided me into concealing my troubling thoughts for later. Still grasping Heimdall's fingers, I chanced a look at the All Father. He looked skeptical, turning his gaze to the ground, then to me, then back to Heimdall. He nodded for him to continue.

"I don't think he wanted him back my lord. He didn't seem concerned for his safety. He entered the temple holding a dagger, just as you had taken your leave. At first I thought he was searching for you or for any remaining soldiers. But then he moved towards where the youngling had been. The caverns were dark my lord, so the remaining cloth that you abandoned when you took this little one could have caused the illusion of a sleeping child." Here the guardian took a breath before continuing. "He attacked the cloth with the dagger. I think he wanted to kill the child."

I held my breath at that. I wouldn't cry, I wouldn't. I knew there was no love lost between me and Laufey, but for him to try to kill me was a completely different thing than to simply abandon me to my fate. And while the result of both actions would have been the same, me dying, my biological father killing me seemed like a more cruel way to go. Still, I don't know why I expected differently, why I allowed myself to hope. After all it was a matter of weakness. Laufey wanted to be strong, to seem strong against the All Father, and the chances of him discovering me, as meager as they were, were a risk Laufey was not willing to take. It was nothing personal, for I was never something personal to Laufey, even though I was his blood. It was just business. I understood that. It didn't hurt any less.

Looking at the All Father again, I was surprised to see that he was furious. Livid even. He held me tighter against him, closing his eye to calm himself. He touched the sides of his nasal bone with his free hand and pinched tightly, trying to cast an unwanted headache away. And failing miserably. Then he lowered his hand, careful not to touch the white gauze that covered his injured eye, turned to Heimdall and nodded in acceptance. Then he turned around, put me on the side-saddle pouch in which I stayed during the journey from Jotunheim to Asgard, mounted his horse and ordered his troops forward. Heimdall opened the gate, and I was once again in the city of the Aesir. Back to the city of Asgard.

Back home.

**Special thanks to my first Reviewer: TeddyBearSunshineJoy54**


	3. Chapter 3

"He wanted to kill the babe."

Odin was raging. From the moment we arrived to his and Fryga's personal quarters he didn't stop pacing up and down, sometimes mumbling incoherent things, and others screaming against the heavens the injustices that Laufey committed. Truth is though; I blanked out most of the things the All Father said. Fryga. My mother. Well, technically not my mother, but still the woman I'd loved most of my life as my mother. I loved her, even in the end, when she hated me. I understand her reasoning now, her hatred. I brought down her husband, imprisoned him despite his condition and old age. I was responsible for the death of one of her children, Balder the White, and my schemes nearly resulted in the death of her eldest. It doesn't matter that I was repentant. It doesn't matter that close to the end I decided to spare Thor. She couldn't have known all that, no one could.

And yet, here she was, holding me as tenderly as if I was her own. No hatred, no disgust, no loathing. She was holding Laufey's bastard son with a calmness that would have put grown warriors to shame. The child of a Frost Giant, a monster. A freak. She embraced me tenderly, as she would embrace Thor or Balder, and she kept humming me a lullaby while her husband raged not two feet away. She was young, and brave, and beautiful. Not the broken creature that had come to plead and threaten me to release her son and husband. She had a radiance, an air of royalty that she had shed when Ragnarok was nearing. Had I really faulted her this much?

Still watching her smiling at me, I tried to focus on the All Father. He had stopped pacing, now looking at Fryga in question. Fryga ended her humming, placed me next to her in a crib that Fulla had provided upon our arrival, and turned to face Odin. She looked skeptical, with a hesitancy that seemed foreign for her otherwise strong and determined features.

"What about the mother?" she asked.

"What about her?"

"Where was she? Who was she? Is she still alive?"

"I can only assume that she was Laufey's latest wife, Farbauti. Yes, I believe she is still alive, since none of my soldiers reported the death of a female. Still, she was nowhere near the child. He was in a cave, all on his own, for Norns know how long. No one was searching for him, except for his father, and Laufey probably just wanted to end him!" Odin shouted.

"My king, calm down." Fryga said quietly.

Odin averted his gaze , finding a very interesting spot on the wall next to him and staring at it. His right cheek and eye socket, still covered in a now clean gauze, was turned towards us. He took a few calming breaths, then inhaled sharply and looked at his wife.

"We could keep him." the All Father said. "Couldn't we?"

Fryga didn't seem surprised. She just looked tired for a moment, as if a quick passing of time left her spent. She looked at me, with oh so much sorrow, and then replied:

"Yes. Yes we could."

"You hesitate. Tell me, what troubles you, wife-of-mine?"

"What is your reason for wanting him here?" Fryga asked. "It's not as if you would readily take any Frost Giant's child under your wing, and we both know you are not doing this out of charity."

Odin nodded thoughtfully, obviously considering how to put what he was thinking into words. Words that would not anger his wife. Of course I knew why he had taken me in. It was all for the benefit of Asgard. He didn't care for me, I was just an opportunity to unite the kingdoms of Asgard and Jotunheim with the bonds of brotherhood. Odin had told me so himself, that fateful day when I found out I'm a runt Frost Giant, just before he fell into the Odinsleep. I was nothing more than a bargain, a chance to free Asgard from the terror the Jotuns posed without further bloodshed. Still, something that had failed to register was that he told me nothing of this mattered, for I was his son. However it wouldn't be the first time he had lied to me, now would it?

"It's a great opportunity for us. For Asgard. We shall raise him as an Asgardian prince, he shall be Thor's and Balder's brother. And when time comes, he will consider it his privilege to serve Asgard, even if his position is in Jotunheim. He could pass our civilization to the Jotuns, Fryga. He could end the war."

Odin had approached my crib by the time he was finished. Of course, I should be the one to deal with the uncivilized barbarians. A monster against monsters. Odin brought his hands forth and touched my forehead in what could be considered a tender gesture. I, however, was disgusted. I pulled my head as far away from him, and gave out a soft cry. Odin pulled back, looking surprised and looked at Fryga. She just stared at me for a long moment, and then turned to her husband saying:

"He is going to be very strong. Almost as strong as our Thor, perhaps stronger." At this I ceased moving, anxious and curious to see what followed. "He acts as if he knows you caused him some sort of injustice. He is quite intuitive for an infant, don't you think?"

"I think it is you, Fryga, that thinks I am unjust, and you put your thoughts in a toddler that is barely a few months old." said the All Father, donning a –gods help- pout on his face. Fryga and I laughed simultaneously. After all it wasn't every day the All Father seemed so childish. Odin just turned from childishly angry to amazed in a mere matter of seconds, seeing us both laughing at his expense. Then his face creased up and a deep chuckle escaped his lips. He came closer, pulled Fryga from where she was siting and used his left hand to hug her. For the first time ever, they both seemed genuinely happy. I think my jaw had fallen of, simply looking at them staring adoringly at each other. It was amazing. Of course, when they kissed, it was all I could do not to vomit right then and there.

When their attention returned to me, I wasn't ready for the love and affection in both their faces. It wasn't directed to me, I knew, it was the devotion towards one another that produced these expressions, but I could always lie to myself. If nothing else, I was good at lying. I could pretend for these few tender moments that I was their newborn child, a son in blood and not in profit, and they were happy to just observe me, to know I exist. For this short while, I could choose to forget that I was an ancient vile being, in the body of a unwanted infant dwarf of a Frost Giant.

"I don't think he likes me very much." said Odin.

"I wouldn't know about that dear. He is just a child, and he has already been through a lot." Fryga replied. "He is so handsome when he smiles." She twisted in her husband's embrace, so she could face me, and continued. "If he is going to be with us, he most certainly needs a name."

"And what do you have in mind, wife-of-mine?"

Fryga paused for a second, then to my mild surprise she said: "Loki, for his smile could bend the heavens to his will." all the while she was smiling. I made a sound of appreciation at having my old name restored. Both the All Father and Fryga found the name satisfactory, and my approval sealed the deal. The next few moments passed like this, them just watching me and me having my bitterness washed away. For now. Then they both exited the room, holding hands all the way. And at that moment I knew.

I may be the same man. I may have the same memories, and the same regrets and bitter feelings. I don't know why I had all these, why I was given this second chance. But I know one thing. I am still Loki Odinson.

And things are going to be much better this time.

**A great big thank you to my reviewers: Charles S. Bridge, Ellie, EverydayWarlock and Sam.**

**To Sam: I think this chapter satiated your curiosity? ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I was kept a secret for some more months. All the while, more and more memories were coming back to me. I remembered my days in Asgard, and as an outcast, Mimir's teachings, my adventures with Thor, my partners in crime and my more elaborate pranks. I remembered my children, and my wifes, Angerboda and Sigyn. Also, to my greatest relief, I remembered my spells, and every single piece of sorcery I had ever used. The disadvantage of it all was that I couldn't cast anything, since I couldn't speak properly yet. However I noticed that most of my basic abilities where developing rather quickly for a toddler. By the third week in the palace I could stand on my feet without wobbling, and my eyesight was becoming less blurry by the day. I even tried to speak sometimes, but the result was a few incoherent noises and a searing pain in the throat. Obviously my vocal cords weren't exactly up to the extraordinary task of talking just yet. But I was working on that.

By the end of the forth month Fryga decided it was high time she presented me to Asgard's court. She also believed my "brothers" should meet me properly, as the new addition to their family. Truth be told, I missed Thor. I missed what we had, before Odin's and Asgard's prejudices drove him away from me. So, when one day Fulla, Fryga's maid, came by my crib with a set of new clothes, I let her dress me without too much fuss. Although I had quite some fun discreetly taking off whatever piece of clothing she had just finished dressing me in. Poor woman, at some point I think she was ready to cry. Some people are just too easy to break.

When Fulla finished dressing me, or rather when I took enough pity of her to let her dress me, I was ready to be presented to the people of Asgard. With a sigh of relief, the woman stood up and took me in her arms to deliver me to Fryga. We passed through the maze that was the royal chambers to the gardens, and then towards the entrance behind the Great Hall. Upon our entrance I heard Odin's booming voice sounding over anyone else's in the room:

"Warriors of Asgard."

All of a sudden there was silence. Fulla settled behind one of the secondary doors that led behind the throne. Soon Odin started talking again, this time thanking his warriors, his friends and allies, and congratulating everyone on their glorious victory against the Jotuns. I paid no heed to what he was saying, for I was likely to get upset, and we wouldn't want that now, would we? So I waited. And waited. At some point I noticed that Fulla was changing the balance of her body from the one foot to the other. Obviously, she hadn't expected this long a wait, and she was anxious to rid herself of her burden. She was bored. I was bored. Had I had my powers, I would try to change the color of her dress from brown-gray-ish to bright yellow, or the color of my baby attire from white and gold to green. Alas, none of that was possible, so we would wait.

Not a few minutes had passed, when the door behind which we were standing opened, and Fryga showed up. She took me in her embrace, thanked Fulla and turned around to reenter the room. Fulla bowed respectfully and walked away, trying to get to her other duties as quickly as possible.

We entered from the right side of the room, to the left of the All Father. It seemed like the All Father had already announced my arrival, because when Fryga walked up the stairs to the throne, all eyes fell on us. Next to the All Father on his right was standing a small boy, no older than five, staring at his father in awe. His blond hair and bright blue eyes were hard to miss, while his fallen jaw presented a sight that I had often faced in my past life, after some of my most complex comments. My idiot of a brother, Thor.

When Fryga moved closer, Thor changed his center of focus from his father to me. His eyes sparkled with a wonderment which I had long ago forgotten could be there. I suppose though for a boy of his age to be suddenly told he would become a big brother for the second time it was big news. And knowing Thor, he had already thought of many ways that he would be responsible for me. He was the eldest, he should watch out for his younger siblings. Suddenly, I felt a rush of happiness pass through me. This was Thor. He may be all he was the last time, but here and now he was free of any thoughts that would turn him against me. I had another chance! Of course I knew that, I had realized things could go differently this time, but never before had I felt this immense hope that I could find happiness. My baby form expressed these thoughts with a gurgling sound, a laugh and my tiny little body leaning from Fryga's embrace to Thor with my hands wide open. Thor's smile reached his ears, one could only imagine the satisfaction he was feeling. He raised his hands towards me and after he gave a questioning look to his mother, asking her permission, he took me from Fryga's arms and held me as he had seen other adults do. The moment the exchange was over, and I was secured in Thor's embrace, a great "Oooow" echoed from all the mouths in the hall. I couldn't care less for their mushy thoughts.

All the while Odin watched his son. But all the more, he was watching my reactions. One would think he found it strange how receptive I was to his young son, and now my brother, but if he did, he didn't show. He just patted Thor calmly on the shoulder, an appreciative gesture, and then he stood from his throne, and turned to the crowd.

"Let it be known, that from this day forth, Asgard has another worthy prince. His name is Loki, and he is my son. I ask you, my friends, to respect and protect him as you do me and my family. And in turn, when he grows off age, he shall repay you in kind by holding Asgard strong, and protecting its citizens."

Odin then turned towards me and Thor, and nodded to his son to approach. Thor held me as comfortably as he could, and moved forward towards his father. Odin made no attempt to take me, instead he looked at me as if asking for my consent. To say that I was surprised was an understatement. It was true that in all these months I had been in the palace, not once had I allowed him to hold me. It wasn't the result of some complex feeling, I was merely doing it out of spite. Then again, he had never asked for my permission before. When I kept looking at him straight in the eye, without moving, Odin took it as a temporary truce, and attempted to hold me. His large hands grasped me as steadily as he could manage, and held me eye-level in front of him. Then, to my greater surprise, he whispered:

"Welcome home, son."

And suddenly, I started sobbing. Not the way babies did, the way grown men with repressed bitterness and anger and daddy issues did. Quietly, without moving, without a sound, with tears streaming down my cheeks. For I knew, at that moment, all I ever wanted to hear, from the time I left Asgard and even before that, was something among these lines. To be accepted unconditionally by the one and only father I ever had. Odin looked as if he could sense my grief, because he move me closer to his chest and held me like he never had before.

Someone in the back of the hall lifted their goblet and shouted: "Hail Loki Odinson!"

And then every glass in the hall was lifted, and everyone said in unison: "To Loki."

A greater gift no god could ever ask.

**For the record, Balder wasn't here because I figured he was a junior to Loki, and was born about six months before the events of this chapter. Which would make him two, or three months younger than Loki, and therefore unable to attend such a grand event. **

**Also, many thanks to all you wonderful people that reviewed my previous chapters, and thumbs up to all who will review this and the chapters to come. If anything, reviews give me a chance to thank you personally by mentioning you here and/or replying to your questions.**

**To Ellie: We shall see ;)**

**To quoththeraven5: Thank you very much! And not to worry, I'm not giving up on this story just yet. **


	5. Chapter 5

It's been five years. Five years of living in Asgard again, close to the people I once knew. After a small while all the abilities I had mastered in my past life had been fully restored. I was able to walk by the end of my first year, and to talk soon after. By the age of two I was able to cast any spell that came to mind with the minimum effort. Of course I never tested my limits. The last thing I needed was a depleted energy core. So I focused on things less likely to cause harm or bring me at the center of the All Fathers attention. I never showed anyone my powers. People however were starting to notice how unusually smart I was for a toddler. When I was sure I could move around and communicate efficiently, I thought it ws a good time to start reading. Of course I couldn't just appear in the library one day, asking for Hildur's "Mysteria Gratis". Everything had to come naturally, for appearances' sake.

I sat for days and days, trying to find a way to make them "teach" me to read. Time was precious, and while I had a seemingly infinite abundance of it, I wasn't about to waste a second of my second chance. So one day, while me and Thor were getting ready for bed, it hit me. I stayed awake all night trying to figure out every single detail, what should be done and what should I say. My ingenious plan involved Fryga's nighttime habit of reading us – Thor, Balder and me- the tales of the Aesir. Truth be told, my plan was crude, if not a little careless. But I blame my lack of patience for that.

So one night, when Fryga began reading her stories, more specifically one about how Hahat, the god of laughter, slayed a dragon, I waited for the right chance and then I put my plan into action. I pointed with my finger the word 'Hahat', looked Fryga in the eyes and said:

"This says 'Hahat'?"

Fryga's interest peaked. She nodded affirmatively. I noticed Thor was staring at me in awe, as if I had achieved the greatest feat of all, and Balder was looking curiously towards his mother. With the corner of my eyes I saw Fryga changing the page, obviously searching for another word. When she found what she was looking for, she said:

"Very well little man, let's see. Can you say what this word is?"

I glanced at the page. It narrated the story of how Hahat tricked the dragon into taking his laughing cap and putting it on his head, supposedly to make him invincible. Of course the only thing that happened to the dragon was a supreme urge to laugh his heart out, which he did. And then he died. How is it that the dragon always dies in the end? Anyway, the word Fryga was pointing at was 'hat', and I declared it happily, albeit with a little modesty. Fryga looked ecstatic with my achievement, and she didn't miss the chance to say so.

"Very well done! Well done Loki." she commented with a smile. "How could you tell?"

"Well" I said "the word 'Hahat' has five letters, the two that form the H-A, and the other three that form the H-A-T. Now if we take this word" I pointed at the 'hat' "and put it in the word 'Hahat' we see that the first two letters are missing. So there is no H-A. Therefore the word is simply H-A-T."

It sounded lame, but it was the best thing I could think at that point. Fryga however seemed impressed, an eight-year-old Thor was clapping excitedly, and a one and a half year old Balder was sucking on his thumb, trying in vain to understand the reason why the sudden change in climate had occurred. The night went on with Fryga showing me words and letters, and me trying to look like I was interested in absorbing every bit of information. I made certain to make a few strategical mistakes, most of which had to do with combinations of letters a child would find difficult to pronounce, such as "ch", "tch" and "gn". The lesson went smoothly, like the water of a quiet river, plus I quite enjoyed the praise Fryga was so generously giving me. Needless to say, from that day forth began my official education as a prince of Asgard.

To be honest, I think Odin wasn't pleased at first. Thor, as one could guess, was never one for words, and Balder was still too young, so none of his blood children was able to start lessons just yet. It obviously pained him that a Jotun was more achieved in the teachings of Asgard than his own children, something that made sense I suppose. In a way. As it was, I tried to keep out of his way for the first few days after my lessons had started, as I saw no point in angering him further. Whenever he would come to our chambers at night, to say goodnight to his "sons", me included, he would look sideways towards me before approaching, and then when he was leaving he would glance sadly towards Thor. I hated that look. It had been directed towards me one too many times, a lifetime ago. Of course Thor was oblivious to this, he kissed his father goodnight, then his brothers and he would go to sleep. Every time he kissed me I felt something small break inside of me.

I knew that the temporary truce I had with Odin was treading on thin ice these days, and our behavior was a bit aloof because of that. Odin didn't know what to make of me, and I knew the All Father all too well to try and reason with him. Especially in this state.

And so weeks passed, months, years, until the day of my sixth birthday. Of course no one knew the exact day of my birth, but Fryga had decided it should be held one day before the winter solstice. It made for a cute, yet ironic fact, and the funny thing is that it was the same in my past life as, yet it eluded me until now. The Frost Giant's birthday one day before the _shortest_ day of the year. In _winter_. Yeah. Right.

Anyway, at the day of my birthday, an unexpected visitor came to the palace. I'm saying unexpected, because to my knowledge he had never left his forest or his house for more than three days, and that only happened when a huge disaster was at hand. But I digress. Just before the end of the celebrations the main doors of the Great Hall opened and everything, the music, the voices, went silent. Standing there, clad in nothing but woodland garb and a hat made out of straw, was a man I had seen only once before, and even then with fear clenching my heart. The one person few knew I idolized in my past life. The protector of the woods. Pan.

He was a great figure. Tall as a tree, calm as a meadow, and terrifying as a volcano ready to erupt. When he started moving, his hooves made clicking sounds that I could swear made the entire place vibrate. He approached the All-Father, and as he moved every pair of eyes in the Hall was focused on his movements. When he was but a few feet from the throne he stopped, looked around calmly and said:

"I see you have many great men in your service, son of Bor."

Odin stood up from his throne, and approached Pan with a smile on his face. It was after all an honor for Asgard that the great god of the woods decided to grace its halls with his presence. Thor made to ask me who the stranger was, and I tried in a hushed voice to explain him to the best of my abilities who was the great Pan. Meanwhile, Odin put his right hand on Pan's left shoulder, and still smiling he replied:

"So I do, oh wise one. It has been a long time since I last saw you my friend, especially away from your woods."

"Ha ha," Pan laughed "always to the point, in a more than sideways way I must say. Yes, I left my woods Odin, and I would want you to consider how great an event that is on its own when you hear what I'm about to ask you."

"Ask away then." said Odin, obviously curious.

"The winds have brought word to Greece of your great victory over the Jotuns. While it still is beyond me why there is such hostility between Asgard and Jotunheim, I feel the need to congratulate you for doing what you think was right."

"You know that Jotunheim has been at odds with us since the beginning of time, Pan…" said the All Father defensively. He seemed, to my great amusement, quite uncomfortable.

"There are many ways with which you can achieve peace, and war is not one of them." Pan said pointedly.

"So it would seem…" replied Odin thoughtfully.

"Alas, I do not see everything through the eyes of a ruler, and perhaps that is why everything seems simple. Anyway, as I said, the winds brought along with your victory other news, about your… spoils." at that he looked at me. Clever, clever Pan.

Odin's gaze sailed uneasily to me, the back to the woodland creature.

"Say, what kind of news?" he said, as he removed his hand from where it rested on Pan's shoulder.

Pan leaned his head to the left, and smiled indifferently. "Why, for a young man of extreme intelligence and talent, lord. A young man to whom I could teach my art and work."

Odin gave Pan a dark look and said: "Ask what you want, guardian, and be done with it."

Pan nodded courtly.

"I wish to be young Loki's mentor." he stated calmly.

I think at that point my jaw went slack. I could feel Thor elbowing me on the ribs, sporting a sideways smile that I later came to associate with him knowing about one of my harmless pranks and just enjoying the show. It was the I-know-what-you-did-and-I-feel-happy-it-came-out-the-way-you-wanted kind of smile. I could hear whispering from every side of the Hall. Every one of my senses was invaded with different signals, but my eyes were solemnly focused on Pan.

"Out of the question!" Odin boomed.

Pan straightened his posture and took an inquisitive gaze.

"Why are you so ready to refuse my offer?" he asked. "After all, the boy needs me."

Odin became red with anger. "And how is it that in any way he needs you, Pan? For I see no way, material or otherwise, in which I wouldn't be able to provide for him."

Pan did not say a word. He just turned towards me, caught my gaze and held it. I felt him trying to get into my mind, to see what I was thinking of all this, and I blocked him. It seemed like that was the trigger, the sign he was waiting for, for he lifted his right hand, slack from the wrist and down and said:

" Ύδωρ."

I hardly had enough time to think, when a jet of water appeared, directed towards me. I lifted a shield of magic and awaited for the hard impact. Just before it hit my shield, the jet changed direction and headed towards Thor. I don't know why this immense protectiveness flooded my being, but it did, and I flaunted my arms in a way I instinctively knew would summon a huge wave of fire. The fire jumped in front of Thor by the time the jet arrived. Every time the jet hit, a new wave of fire jumped on it to make it retreat. I think eons had passed, and I could feel my magic draining from my body, when Pan actually stopped. He turned slowly towards Odin.

"Good day to you, son of Bor. Think of what I told you."

Then Pan turned to me, smiled and said:

"Αντίο μικρέ."

He left as he had come, his robes gliding behind him, his hooves making that clicking noise, and everyone's eyes on his back. The last thing I remember was the doors closing behind him with a loud thud.

Then exhaustion crept up on me and I fainted.

**Fewww. This was a loooong chapter.**

**Ok, first of all, sorry for the delay, university can be a bitch, especially when one has to study for exams.**

**Secondly, I know I don't mention Balder much in this chapter either. Just imagine he is somewhere in the room, near Fryga for example, grabbing her hand. Or anywhere. It doesn't matter. :P**

**I know the original teacher of Thor and Loki was Mimir, or Ymir, I can't remember really, it's just I never liked either of them. Especially Mimir. Plus I don't think Loki would have gone well with anyone whom he didn't respect as his mentor. So I had to give him a role model. And here comes Pan. Go check him out in Google or in any Greek mythology site, you'll find that his behavior is quite similar to the one Loki has, and I do think he is of equal, at the very least, intellect. Sorry if this addition offends anyone's beliefs on the subject of accuracy. It's just for the story's sake, and I have to admit Pan sounded like the best option. It was either him or Hermes, and I think he should make his appearance, if at all, later on.**

**Also « ****Ύδωρ****» means Water in Greek, and «****Αντίο****μικρέ****» means Goodbye little one. Also in Greek. :D**

**In the end I want to thank all you wonderful people who reviewed this story. And to those who reviewed chapter 4: Ellie, quoththeraven5, Eli, Fairedenale, NinjaViper, Charles S. Bridge and rerikusu.**

**To Charles S. Bridge: I actually spent some time thinking of how Thor and Loki were as children. For Loki to be hurt this much by losing Thor, one would think they had something very special. Also I really don't thing Loki will let Odin use him in any way, especially in the way he had planned from the first moment he laid eyes on him. No, Loki will lead his own life, but he won't distance himself. ****You'll have to wait and see. ;)**

**Till the next chapter!**


	6. Chapter 6

"Loki! Come on, we're running late!"

And late we were. Odin's words were stern and simple: be back before nightfall. Yet nightfall caught us unaware, and now we were still far away from the palace, and running out of time. We spent the day near the Lake of Tears, the one place in Asgard closest to the roots of Ygdrasil. Thor was sparring with a young adult Tyr, Balder playing with his birds and singing, and me reading.

It had been 6 more years since Pan's fateful visit. Six more years, gone in a blur. Life went on, uncaring, unaware of my wishes and dreams. Odin hadn't contacted Pan, as a matter of fact he hadn't even mentioned him since my sixth birthday. And Pan of course never returned. Bitterness had again started to settle in my thoughts, the same feeling I had eons ago, when I thought no one cared about me. When I was left truly and utterly alone. Still, I found the strength in me to push past these feelings and go on with my life. I didn't need Pan to become someone, I could do everything by myself. I had never required anyone's help, why start now?

So I moved on. I ventured to the library every so often, hunting down rare books, scripts I never had the opportunity to read before I left Asgard in my previous life. I taught myself the secrets of alchemistry, potions and nature bending, things I had ignored due to their difficulty and their limited practicality in my plans for vengeance. I continued my lessons with Fryga, and given the chance I would help Thor and Balder with their studies. Thor was far more interested in philosophy than what I had ever been, and he seemed to believe in the existence of an ultimate balance in the universe. Balder was more interested in music and lore, but he paid equal attention to all his studies, especially the history and politics of Asgard. In everything they lacked, I came to fill the void. As an instructor, nothing more.

And while my relationship with my brothers was blossoming, my interactions with Odin had become scarce, and our interest for one another nearly nonexistent. He barely acknowledged me when I walked into a room, and I avoided him to the best of my abilities, without making my attempts to avoid him obvious. He and I knew, and that was enough. I knew Fryga gave him the cold shoulder about the way he treated me, going as far as to remind him that I was his "f***ing son, for Valars' sake". She tried to make things better for me, tried to give me the support and affection of both the parents I lacked, and I loved her for that. I think I spent more hours talking to her, helping her out with chores, or simply sitting close to her, than all the hours I had spent interacting with all the other Asgardians combined.

My second most favorite person next to Fryga, apart from my brothers, was Heimdall. Whenever my schedule would allow it, I would visit him on his look out and stay there until the darkness had settled well over Asgard. Sometimes I would bring him food, others ale, others I would merely go to him with questions about other worlds, and what he could see in them. I think he was more than pleased with my interest. He certainly was willing to answer my questions. The one time he completely shut down and became cold towards me was when I asked him if I could use the bridge to leave Asgard. Not permanently of course, just for a little while, to shake some of my boredom off. He gave me a "no" between clenched teeth, something about it being my father's decision who uses the bridge or not, and refused to speak to me anymore. By the next time we met everything was forgotten.

As it is, this fine evening was one of those that I could spend neither with Fryga nor with Heimdall. The only alternative I had for entertainment was spending my time with Thor and Balder. When Tyr decided to tag along I just resigned myself to reading through our entire excursion. I never really liked Tyr, for in my past life, when I was little, he used to terrorize me about how the Frost Giants would come and take me away from Asgard, right under the All Fathers nose. Dear Lords, how close to the truth he was back then…

Anyway, that's how things came to be as they are. Now we were running. And we were late.

"Thor, wait up!" came a shout from Balder, who was right behind me.

"We've got to hurry, little brother. Father will be furious!"

"Balder is right, Thor!" I declared. Thor visually faltered, slowed down and after a couple of steps stopped entirely.

"What do you mean brother?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "There is no need for us to rush. We are already late. Very, very late." I looked pointedly towards Tyr, indicating that our delay was primarily his fault, which, truth be told, it was. Tyr, who had stopped right next to Thor, rolled his eyes and looked away without commenting. So I went on "Might as well be as late as we can."

Thor looked skeptical for a moment, then looked towards Tyr, trying to discern what the second eldest person in our group thought. Tyr closed his eyes and lifted his shoulders, as if saying "the decision is yours". Making his choice, Thor turned to me, smiled and nodded. Balder sighed next to me, glad that there would be no more running. And thus began our long walk home.

When we finally reached the gates, I noticed two female figures rapidly approaching towards us. Tyr must have noticed them too, for he tapped my brother on the shoulder and pointed towards them. Us they came nearer, it became easier to identify them. The one that was ahead of the other was none other than Sif, my brother's once betrothed, and one of the most fierce shieldmaidens of Asgard. The girl following her was Nanna, Balder's sweetheart. When they realized who they were, Thor and Balder started running towards them. I exchanged glances with Tyr, smiled a knowing smile towards each another –Tyr's smile was closer to smirking-, and quickened our pace to reach the others.

"Your dad is furious." said Sif matter-of-factly . "He said that you should have been back ages ago."

When she spotted me she said: "He blames you, you know."

"What a surprise there!" I said smiling. It really didn't surprise me, although I was slightly worried. But that was to be expected.

Balder gave Nanna a quick peck on the cheek, took her hand in his and said: "Well, we'd better run!" and run he did, Nanna always at his side, smiling.

"Let's get this over with." I muttered. Securing my shrunken book inside my helmet once more, I sighed, and raced towards the others.

**Will Loki feel Odin's wrath? We'll have to wait and see. More Loki goodness soon! ;)**

**Thank you, all you wonderful people, who read and reviewed this story!**

**To those who reviewed chapter 5: quoththeraven5, HowlynMad, Vanimelde Melindel, Ellie, He Who Dreams, yaoiuke101, BecStar94 and LadyKarma18.**

**Also, thanks for all the faves, they are very much appreciated. Thank you all for your continued support, you give me the power to go on :***


	7. Chapter 7

"What should I do with you, Loki? Why are you behaving like this?"

"Dad, please_!"

"Silence Thor!" Odin shouted.

Our return to the palace had been uneventful, for the most part. However, that did not apply for our current predicament. Appearing in front of Odin and explaining ourselves was a completely different matter. And while Tyr and Balder had been excused with a few comments about how much they disappointed the all father and a promise never to let this happen again, me and Thor were in serious trouble. Well, Thor wouldn't be, if he hadn't insisted upon staying with me, but the idiot had to be the hero once again.

"I expected better, from both of you. And the fact that you so blatantly disobeyed me makes the matter even worse. You are going to be responsible for Asgard's future one day!" he said pointing towards Thor. "How are you going to rule, if you are this irresponsible?"

Thor lowered his gaze, finding an interesting spot on the stone floor and focusing on it. I chanced a glance at him, and I was almost certain I saw tears forming in his eyes. This had gone too far. Thor's one ambition was pleasing his father! Odin couldn't do this to him! This mess wasn't even his fault!

"So? What's the big deal?" I said. I knew I was making Odin even more furious, but I found that I failed to care. "We were a few hours late. It's not as if we missed a big event, or a celebration. It's not as if we were needed here. It's just because everything has to go your way! ALWAYS YOUR WAY!" I ended up shouting.

Odin was silent for a moment, dumbfounded obviously that I dared cross him. He cupped his chin, considering his options. He looked at me as if I had helped him reach a most exciting revelation, his gaze never dropping mine. In any other case I would have laughed my heart out, having engaged the Father of All in a staring contest. Now I was trying so hard not to close my eyes. It's the same feeling one has when he is trying to stare down a tiger. You know that if you avert your eyes for an instant, your opponent is most likely going to charge.

"Thor, leave us alone, please." Odin required calmly. Never leaving my eyes.

"Father, don't_"

"Now, Thor!" finally he looked at his eldest son. "Please."

Thor turned to me, the look on his face inquiring whether or not I would be ok. And while a while back I would have found his concern enjoyable, now I merely nodded in affirmation, I would be fine. Actually I wasn't so sure, but Thor didn't need to know that. Though reluctant, Thor started walking towards the exit of the throne room. The moment he reached the door he chanced one last glance towards me over his shoulder, then exited and closed the door behind him. Still looking at the place where Thor's silhouette had been before closing the door, I said:

"It wasn't his fault."

I felt Odin's hand on my shoulder. "I know." he said, his voice a little higher from my ear. I tried not to let my surprise at his close proximity show, I schooled my expression and turned to face the All Father. I found him looking at the door, sorrowful and skeptic at the same time. His left hand still on my right shoulder, he sighed but didn't show any sign of being willing to start talking again. Knowing from experience that Odin's silence wasn't a positive sign, I repeated:

"It wasn't his fault."

Odin came out of his reverie. "I know." he said "As I know it wasn't your fault either."

Now that was news! My surprise must have shown, because Odin chuckled and continued:

"It was no one's fault, I don't blame anyone, much less you and Thor. May I be honest with you?" I nodded my assent "I wasn't worried about you." Big surprise, why would he have been worried about me? It's not as if I was his son or anything. "I wasn't worried about Tyr. I wasn't worried for Thor, even though he can be a bit reckless at times. I know that if the situation arises, you can cope. You can fight…" He looked towards the door again. "Balder can't."

At that he turned around and went straight for his throne. I was dumbfounded. In those few moments Odin had turned from the raging almighty king of Asgard to a very old and very tired man, who could take no more of his reality. In my confusion I approached him, sitting on the floor in front of him with my legs crossed. Just like in my past life, when I was expecting him to tell me a story. Back then, when he didn't hate me. Or did he? I couldn't know. Odin exhaled slowly, rubbing his hand over his good eye.

"The Jotuns started moving again. This they approach Asgard from the Ways of Shadow."

"Below Yggdrasil?" I asked. This hadn't happened before!

"Yes. There have been sightings of them near our borders. Villages have already been evacuated, people have been killed. The Frost has tainted our land like never before. We are under attack, Loki."

I swallowed. I didn't know what to make of this. Jotun's had never approached Asgard before. Well, they had, but not this much. And certainly not in this way. Our defenses would be useless, if they indeed came through the Shadow Paths. These paths were small dark passages behind and below Asgard, through the mountains, passages that resembled dead-end caves with underground waters. No living being could survive the water's cold temperature. Legend had it that this particular liquid was the blood of Yggdrasil, the very essence of life. The fact remained that anyone who could survive the water, could follow the stream through the underground caves, and pop out to the furthest corners of Yggdrasil. Frost giants never had this knowledge before, and I never shared it with them, even when I needed their assistance to bring Asgard down. One thing was for certain: There was a traitor amongst us.

"We could hold them back. You could train us. Me and Thor." I said hesitantly. "With the right knowledge and equipment there is nothing that would stand in our way."

"How would you like Pan training you?"

I fell silent. I didn't know were the All Father was going with this, and I wasn't sure I wanted to trust his intentions.

"I never mentioned Pan." I replied warily.

"Yes, but he has mentioned you. He wants to start your magical training as soon as possible. I thought I could evade him, but now I realize" he reached for my helmet, and removed the book I had shrunk from the inside "I can't."

"I didn't mean to_" I tried to explain myself.

"No, it's ok. It's just…" he inhaled "There is no magic without price, son. I know that better than anyone." and he pointed to his eye patch, smiling kindly.

He then rose from his throne, giving me his hand as he did so. In my haze, I grabbed it like it was the last thing holding me to life, and let him bring me to my feet. Everything that happened next was like a dream. I registered him bending slightly over me, lifting my helmet only a little, and placing a soft kiss on my forehead. And like a deer facing it's hunter, I couldn't move, I couldn't reply, I couldn't react in any possible way. I stood perfectly still, until Odin backed off, and released his hold of my hand and my helmet. He presented me with my book, and said:

"You are right. There is nothing that will stand in your way. Not even me." he nodded, more to himself than me. "You start sword training with Thor and Tyr next Thursday, and spear training with Heimdall the day after that. I will contact Pan as soon as I can."

He turned to leave the hall, leaving me standing there alone, shocked by this day's events. As he was leaving, I heard him say: "Goodnight Loki."

And it was only after he left that I replied: "Goodnight dad…"

**Sort of mushy, but whatsyagonnado? Credits for the swift and long update please! :D**

**To my reviewers, chapter six: LadyKarma18, yaoiuke101, NinjaViper, quoththeraven5. Thank you all!**

**To LadyKarma18: Balder is six-ish months younger than Loki, which in the world of Gods – and our own I suppose- isn't that much.**

**To yaoiuke101: Mijolnir doesn't exist yet, and the dwarves ****will ****make it. At some point ;) Wait and see. **

**Once again thank you all for your support!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Again"

Sword practice. I had nearly forgotten why my personal weapon was a trident and not a sword. The fact was made painfully clear today at sword training. In other words, I sucked at sword fighting. I was certainly nowhere near Thor's level, and Tyr was light-years ahead of me. All afternoon I was ducking, and running, and putting up a meager defence, while Thor and Tyr took turns beating my ass to the ground. What made me really frustrated was this: I had the experiences of a being so ancient that saw the rise and the downfall of many worlds. I was prophesized to bring forth Ragnarok, for Valars' sake! How was it possible that mere teenagers could beat me to the curb?

Anyway, as it was, I was again defeated, my sword meters away from me and Tyr's foot on top of my sternum, holding me down. At Mimir's instructions he removed his leg and offered me his hand to help me stand up. I ignored his outstretched limb, my pride too hurt to allow me to accept any kind of charity. So, with great difficulty, I pulled my sore muscles and shakily stood up. Feeling slightly dizzy, from both my lengthy exposure to the sun and all the exercise I had pulled through, I approached my sword and lifted it from the ground. At that moment I could have sworn Mijolnir could have been lighter compared to the burden of my sword, and that says a lot. Mimir merely grinned at my pain, that evil little grin he saved only for me. I never knew it for sure, but somehow I was certain Mimir knew I was a Frost giant –even in my previous life- and hated me for it.

"Well, it seems fame isn't everything after all, is it, Master Loki?" he said, a great amound of sarcasm dripping from his words.

"Indeed, it is not." I answered. "For they say you are a great sword instructor, yet I've been here all day with close to none progress what-so-ever. Perhaps your fame makes ones expectations greater than they should be."

Mimir's knuckles turned white, his breathing more shallow and his eyes bore into mine with so much hatred I nearly backed away. After a few moments he calmed himself, closing his eyes as he waited for his anger to pass. I saw with the corner of the eye Thor and Tyr exchanging glances, none of them having ever witnessed their tutors temper. The silence was beginning to get to me when Mimir finally said:

"Enough of that attitude, Loki. You will show your instructor the proper respect." At that he turned his back towards me. And while I thought it was over, Mimir gave me a sideways glance over his shoulder, along with a lopsided grin and continued: "As it is, not even the best of gardeners can tend to a plant with rotten roots."

Yes, he definitely hated me. I felt my temper rise. I wanted to wipe that smug look off his face. Still the logical part of my brain told me that I would achieve nothing by losing my calm. I decided that I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of failing again, even if that was the last thing I did. While I strengthened my resolve, Thor moved towards Mimir, stating:

"There is no need for this sir. Loki is just tired and bitter," and putting his hand on my shoulder "he didn't mean any disrespect. Perhaps we could stop for today? After all, it is the first time my brother handles a sword, and he did far better than what I did when I began."

"Your concern for your brother is beyond touching, Odinson." Mimir remarked, smiling tenderly towards his favorite pupil, "Still, there is no excuse for tardiness. But since it is late indeed we will make this battle the final one, and we will continue on our next session. Now, if you please."

He motioned us towards the center of the arena. Thor was to be my next opponent, his sword ready at hand. Before we went to our separate sides of the ring, Thor used his hold on my shoulder to turn me so that I was facing him. He drew me closer, moving his hand to the back of my head, touching his forehead to mine for a couple of moments. I closed my eyes, focusing on every single stimuli Thor had to offer, his steady breathing, his hand on the back of my neck, his steady forehead, anything really that could keep me from crumbling to the ground.

"Patience, brother. This is the last sparring. Then you will get your rest. A much deserved rest." He pulled me away, looking me in the eye and smiling. "You did well brother."

I chuckled, putting my left and on his chest, pushing him slightly away. "You didn't do so bad yourself." I said with a wink.

"I will go easy on you this time." he said, half-joking, half-serious.

In another lifetime the fact that he assumed I needed a break would have been considered as a sign of pity, an insult that could not be forgiven. But I had changed. Thor was no longer the enemy, nor was he the reason for any bitterness emanating from me. He was my brother, in all but blood. I managed a small, tired smile, pushed him back and away from me and said "No mercy, Brother." and swung my sword forward.

He laughed, blocking my attack and attacking anew. I parried and ducked for the next five minutes, avoiding to block since the sheer force behind Thor's attacks would be enough to knock me into the next century. At one point, when Thor attacked from the left, I leaned to the right, caught hold of his right leg and pushed myself beneath his feet. Standing up again with Thor's back turned towards me I jumped up and managed to kick him between his shoulder blades. Thor tripped and fell unceremoniously on the floor, his sword slipping away from his grasp. To his credit he recovered almost immediately, turning to get his weapon. With one swift move I managed to kick his sword away and out of the fighting field. Thor gazed at the discarded weapon, then laughed and started charging towards me. I saw his mirth and decided to answer in kind. So I threw my weapon away and run towards Thor, all the time both of us laughing and shouting "Aaaaaaa!" on top of our lungs. He tackled me, we both fell down and started rolling in the dirt. Being the slimmer of the two, I managed to maneuver us, so that I was on top of Thor, sitting on his belly and holding both of his hands down. Our laughter never ceased, making my body feel more relaxed and Thor seem much younger than his sixteen years.

At some point our laughter decreased, and I looked at my brother with all the tenderness I felt for the child before me. In all my years, I had never ceased to love him. He was my opposite, everything good in my life. And seeing him like this, flushed and smiling and trying to breathe deeply with me sitting on his thorax, it broke my heart a little bit, thinking of all the time I had lost with him in my previous lifetime. Thor smiled at me and then jestfully pushed me off of him muttering something about me snapping him in two with all my weight. I laughed as I stood up and bumped him playfully on the shoulder.

"Ahem." Mimir drew our attention. "Not the best display of battling technics, but never the less decent enough." He looked at Thor saying "Next time watch your footing. We wouldn't want you falling over when fighting a Frost Giant, now would we?"

His words were aiming to hurt, but missed by far. Thor let out a booming laugh and nodded vigorously, never being disrespectful towards his tutor. Mimir then eyed me with something akin to contempt, and said: "As for you, stop playing around. Learning how to fight is essential, if you are to survive on the battlefield."

"Master Mimir, I'm trying. I'm only twelve after all." I shrugged indifferently "I have time."

"So one would hope…"

And with that last cryptic remark he left, and our lesson was over. Thor grabbed me by the shoulder, putting his arm around me, and pushing me towards the palace's direction. Tyr fell in step behind us. Before we parted Tyr nodded to Thor goodbye, and then nodded to me in approval. Tyr never spoke, not that I can remember. That is, he had the ability to speak, but he chose not to. Trying to decipher his thoughts I used a harmless spell I had recently read about in an old tome about mind magics. I entered the forefront of his mind glancing briefly at his thoughts. Tyr must have felt the intrusion because his eyes widened in surprise, but when he recovered he smiled a bit and guided me to the thoughts he wished me to see. Thoughts, I found, you can only read, so I read:

_You fought bravely, Loki Odinson. I was surprised you lasted this long. With some proper training –and not the farce that was todays lesson- you shall make a fierce warrior one day. Perhaps though you ought to reconsider your weapon of choice._

His grin as I finished reading matched my own and I nodded in acknowledgement. Thor probably saw our silent exchange but chose not to comment. I saw Tyr leaving and I couldn't help but feel I had, if not a friend, at least an ally in him.

Only time would tell.

**A great big thank you to all those who read & reviewed chapter 7: HowlynMad, quoththeraven5, ElizaAcheron, yaoiuke101,LadyKarma18 and Roxyblue9876**

**HowlynMad: Indeed, knowing your fate can only bring pain and suffering, especially if you are trying to change it. And there is always Oedipus' example to prove this claim. However, I was trying to put something of the Chaos theory in the last chapter. Somebody might have stepped on a bug and the Jotuns are currently about to enter Asgard. After all, Loki would have to be at the exact same places at the exact same time as before, for nothing at all to change. Which, all in all and considering Loki's restless nature, is nearly inpossible.**

**yaoiuke101: Loki turns out to be a wee bit incompetent with a sword. Of course he seems decent for a 12-year-old, but considering his previous fighting experience he should have been able to handle Thor and Tyr singlehandedly. I figured he was never really good at any kind of battle that involves close proximity with the opponent, because in every decent battle he either used magic or a spear. Also I don't think that the first time around anyone cared much about his battle technics. I thought that sword and shield are just not his thing. Although he is going to get much better, I promise. ;)**

**LadyKarma18: All in good time ;)**

**Again thank you all for your support. Please, please please, read and review! :D**

**I borrowed Mimir snarky style from our very dear professor Snape, noting that Snape at least could deduct points. Much love to Alan Rickman!**

**Next chapter Pan will probably make an appearance. Though nothing is certain. And there will be more of Tyr and Balder too. Also, I may introduce a new character, not an OC, but still someone that appeared much later in the comics/never before in the movies. If you have any suggestions feel free to let me know.**

**Until the next chapter!**


	9. Chapter 9 Rock Bottom

Chapter 9

"Mother, that's enough! I'm suffocating!"

"It's not enough. Now stand still, I can't get this on."

When my cape was ready, courtesy of Fryga, I turned around to look myself in the mirror. I was dressed quite elegantly. My vest and my breaches were a smart combination of sapphire green and white and my cape was nearly entirely white, with intricate designs marked on it in azure. I eyed myself from head to toe and couldn't help but smile at my reflection. It felt good, having a true prince of Asgard smiling back at me. Next to me Fryga was looking at me, obviously appreciating her work. I spared her a smirk, then turned around and hugged her tightly.

"My dear boy. My son. Spare a thought for me when you are with Pan, ok?"

"I don't know if I'm leaving yet mother. Maybe Pan will let me stay?" I said doubtfully.

"We can't know. And you'd better not mention it either. It's a great honor as it is that Pan has accepted to become your mentor. It would be disrespectful of us to compromise his offer in such a way."

"He'll notice that something is wrong anyway…" I mumbled. Fryga shook her head and smiled.

Truth is I was nervous. I couldn't remember the last time I had to deal with this amount of stress. I had no idea what my future had in store for me, if i would live up to everyone's expectation or if Pan would even consider me worthy after all those years. And no matter how calm my demeanor may have seemed, I know I couldn't stand the idea of being rejected again. The young man in the mirror seemed confident enough, so it seemed like blasphemy for me to doubt him. Still my nervousness didn't go away, it only intensified when Fryga put her hand on my shoulder and said:

"It is time."

I nodded at her reflection, and watched her leave the room, whipping a stray tear off her eyes. With a sigh I straightened my cape for the last time, took my spear –a gift from Heimdall- and followed my mother. If I were honest with myself, I would say that I could have never imagined the pain our imminent separation would bring upon me. Too bad I'm still such a good liar. On the positive side of things, this situation wouldn't be permanent. Hopefully.

We made our way through the palace doors and kept on walking. It had been arranged that pan would meet us in the front gates of Asgard, were the ceremony of our binding would take place. I heard it was customary for tutors and their apprentices to be bound through "blood and fire", whatever that meant. I kept my head bent, Fryga always in front of me leading the way. Since it was already dusk people should be rushing from their jobs, their fields to their houses, the weariness of hard labor creeping up to their features. However, since it had been made known that the great Pan was coming to Asgard again, in a time space shorter than a century no less, every house in town seemed abandoned, as all the people of Asgard rushed to the ceremony site. With some bitterness I thought that it was probably considered insignificant that one of their princes was leaving. Then again, I wasn't really their prince, was I?

"So you're leaving, huh?"

I turned around, searching for the source of the all too familiar voice. I would have smiled freely at the sound, if not for the sorrow that surrounded the words. Seeing no one behind me, I turned again to continue my way when I came face to face with some sturdy pieces of body armor. I fell to the ground, my cape swishing awkwardly around me. Looking up, I saw a very concerned Thor staring down at me. He offered me his hand, which I accepted gratefully. I smiled sheepishly at my own foolishness, but Thor's frown only deepened.

"Why so serious brother?" I said, giving him my most elaborate impish smile.

"Do not concern yourself brother. I shall be serious if and when I deem it appropriate. Are you alright?"

"I'm quite alright, thanks. Though I think my face left a permanent stain on your breastplate."

Thor's lips actually twitched a little upwards for a moment, just for a few seconds, and then he turned sober again. He scanned me head to feet for any injuries who's existence I might have withheld –my brother knows me and my stupid pride all too well. When he saw none he reached to straighten my collar, then backed away slowly and glanced at the aforementioned breastplate, simply stating:

"I shall have many more of these in my life, brother. Thus is the life of a warrior. Some will be different than others, but all will do the same thing. What I can never have again, what is different from everyone yet stays the same for me…" his eyes suddenly raised to meet mine "is the one thing that is leaving me today."

Words cannot properly explain everything I felt at that moment. I think my eyes were a bit watery -probably from all the dirt the wind had lifted from the ground. I hugged Thor like there would be no tomorrow and said:

"It's not forever brother…"

"I hope not. Otherwise I will have to hunt Pan down to return you, and that we both know will only succeed in making father furious."

I laughed out loud, the image Thor described combined with the picture of the All-Father red with fury too comical for words. When at last my laughter eased into giggles I heard Thor say:

"Promise me you'll be carefull."

I eyed him weirdly, my head bent a little, before I replied "I promise."

Thor seemed appeased, but also at a loss of what more to say. He nodded twice, patted me on the shoulder a couple of times, and then started heading towards the palace. I kept looking at his retreating back until he was a good distance away from me. At some point I found myself calling his name as loudly as I could.

"Thor!" When he turned around I continued "Promise me you won't forget me."

He stared at me for a while, nodded and kept on going. It might have been my imagination, but I think his shoulders hunched just a little in defeat, and I thought to myself:

Don't forget me brother, please don't forget me. You forgetting me is what started everything last time.

And then things hit rock bottom.

**Sorry for the BIG delay. My university studies and real life have taken their toll on me. I shall update again as soon as I can. Thoughts?**


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